"Who Is This Chuck Character?"

Charles Richard Bennington was born in Wheat Ridge Colorado on March 28, 1985. This birth was much like the opening scene in The Lion King. The only differences being that Chuck was much cuter as a baby and had far more awesome hair.
Shortly after birth the man cub was relocated to Sarasota, Fl. Sarasota was an adventure filled time in young Chuck's life that was vaguely reminiscent of the Pirate's of the Caribbean. Young Chuck was just like Jack Sparrow, only much stronger and better looking. After growing bored with the retirees and spoiled children that litter the shores of sunny Florida, a drastic change occurred. Sir Bennington enlisted in the United States Air Force and a good chunk of his late teens and early twenties was spent as a "TACP".
During this time in the military a strong love for firearms, scotch, and his dog Mister was forged. While stationed at Fort Lewis our hero's life took another drastic turn; the valiant prince found something called "CrossFit."
Yada yada, blah blah...Here's what happened in the next couple years: He got out of the military, worked at a gay bar in Seattle for a while, and moved back to Florida. Through all of this his experience and exposure to CrossFit grew and grew. Eventually this would come to the point that many in the CrossFit community reach, a Level One Cert. For this life changing experience only the finest facility would do, only GSX. At GSX in January of 2009 this young man fell in love with a young woman, one Azlea Vanessa Sisson. This is them, they are hot together. Sadly he had to return to Florida, but only for a short while as he was back at GSX for an Olympic Lifting Cert in March. Unfortunately that trip was far too short and Nessa and Chuck were again parted. As the couple's love grew it was evident that there was only one solution, a permanent move. This move did in fact happen and brings our story almost to present day. These days you can find Chuck quite often at GSX blasting vulgar DMX songs and failing lifts repeatedly. While not teaching CrossFit classes Lord Bennington has been seen at Central Market with BFF Agent Deavers, sipping fine wines, enjoying fresh cuts of tasty brisket, and debating really, really, really important stuff.
Thank you to the following agencies for your time and assistance: DOE, BATF, ISA, NSA, DARPA, DOJ, CAG, USSS, DHS, SPCA, DMX, NWA, YMCA, IRS, REM, GSG9

9 comments:

Candice said...

why does the dog look like it's head is being sat on?

Vanessa said...

Well, I guess that about sums it up! LOL!

Love it, Mike!

Candice, that's because Mister has his head wedged under Chucks arms or legs or something. He will root underneath you to snuggle or to get under the covers!

stefanie said...

can we have a similar entertaining story about Mister's life and his experiences being 'wedged'?

CrossFit GSX said...

Mister the Dog is not the next scheduled profile, but stay tuned.

Kristy said...

I agree Stefanie, I want a profile of Mister the dog.

Charles said...

Mister...Where do I begin with him? He might need his own blog to cover everything. He's crazy.

Parker said...

We need a Saturday crossfit dog WOD or social and incorporate the pooch populous of the membership. Then Mister can be revealed to the GSX society and watch the Chuckster sit on his head.

Robert said...

I know Chuck only from 0600 to 0700 a couple times a week. So I may be out of turn commenting. Yes, Mister does have some intrigue to him, but is not spectacular in the fur/hair department, like I believe Chuck to be. The beard is cool, but not extraordinary. It is the head hair that should be on a Hair All Star Team. Awesome certainly, once in a lifetime greatness, yes if he can keep the hair for a few more years. I mean you have “hat hair” which is crazy from too much baseball cap. You have “bed head” which is really wacky from a long nights sleep but most insane is “chuck head”. This is or should be a universal term. Believably (and hopefully) unrelated to the time Chuck spent tending bar in drag, the coinage “chuck head” (think about it) comes from the shear hair density and elevation that is naturally achieved as the normal presentation of hair to the world. All natural, wild and untamed, I think that sums it up.

ava said...

Well said, Robert!